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A Day With My Son

Today I took my son to school.  I kissed him and hugged him.  I let him know that I will be there to pick him up.  I assured him that I work hard for him.  He already knows all this.  I tell him everyday.

Today I felt the void that my son feels in his life.  Today I realized that I am just not enough.  While I love him with all my heart, I am just that- one heart.  He used to be loved by two hearts.  No matter how much I love on him, I cannot kiss both cheeks at once, hug him with four arms, or cuddle with him on both sides.

Today I must be strong for him.  My face must stay dry and my eyes must stay focused.  I must listen when he talks and show that I understand.  He tries to stay strong for me too.  Who is there for us if we can't be strong?  Who picks up Mommy at the end of the day?

Today, I cry, hard, on the inside.  My mind wanders.  My thoughts travel at light speed.  My heart is heavy with stabbing pangs of guilt but I will wear a smile.  If anyone asks, I will say that I&…

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